Circle of Fits

from “IF WE HAD KNOWN” (Sara Ayers and Jeff Sampson)

Oh terror, what is the cause?
How did I lose my peace and accord?
My last wish was different than the ones before,
how did I get myself so turned around?

Perhaps it’s a matter of perception,
perhaps someone wants to walk me home.
I couldn’t live there anymore,
my likeness was standing in a panic –
my shadow, fleeting and anaemic.
The streets were flowing red –
so many faces I knew washing by.

I’m a toy – pull my chain, I’ll laugh for you.
Cut my hair – change my shoes, it’s pointless.
There’s nothing permanent about the way you make me lie.

A shrug for the scowls I perceive.
What is the reason behind you wanting me to believe?
I’ll never play those stupid games again.

I’m a volunteer, I’m only here because I want to be.
What is the point of ignoring me?
Should it be me who turns his back to walk away?

Calmer winds overrule.
Calmer thoughts may see me through.
A younger me might start it all again,
but there doesn’t seem to be a point to any type of plan.

I haven’t been around the world
but I have been several kinds of fool
and I don’t want that again.
Offer me your hand,
your strength will calm me.
Is there any other way?

Memory – tearing me.
Memory – haunting me.

Jeff Sampson (2008)

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